Ingredients of a Big Budget Flop Film

1.  1. Sign Big Stars

2. 2.  Watch old hit Hollywood movies on DVD and select one that you like most. Forget what the world (people for whom you are going to make the film) thinks about the Hollywood film that you desire to copy.

3.  3. Catch hold of a writer if you feel bored about writing the script yourself. The writer has to just copy the DVD so you don’t have to spend your budget on the writer. Look out for your Dada, Kaka, Mama, Nana, Chacha; for that matter even your bai will do if she says she knows to read and writer English and Hindi. Call her to your office and give her the DVD along with a DVD player, some blank papers and a pen to write. By evening, or maximum by the next day your script should be ready. You as  a director may want to contribute by giving the foreign characters Indian names as your so called writer may not be good at names.

4.  4. Start shooting with the stars.

5. 5.  Add in an item number which you will surely dream in one of the nights during the shooting.

6.6.   Most importantly: Believe that you are making a hit film. Your Film is going to be the next ‘Sholay’ of Bollywood.

7. 7.  Design some awesome posters that have nothing to do with the storyline.

8.8.  Edit couple of slick promos for the idiot box.

9.  9. Give interviews on channels and participate in reality shows along with your stars to promote your film.

110.         Release the film on the finalized date.

111.   Collect the reviews online from various Bollywood Sites and lo!!!!! Even though you have earned a lot, your film has been declared a Super Duper Flop!!

Audiences are asking for refund. But you should not care. Instead share amongst yourself: ‘Kuchh to log kahenge, logon ka kaam hai kehna; chhodo bekar ki baton mein kahin beet na jaye raina...’ and you go out to celebrate the film with lavish parties. In the party you meet other stars and they have free dates available for you. Some of them may even have seen another great Hollywood film and would want you to make the film in Hindi.

And once again you go on the path of making a SUPER DUPER HIT...I Mean SUPER DUPER FLOP FILM!!!