WHEN YOUR FRIEND ASKS YOU FOR MONEY
TO GIVE OR NOT TO GIVE THAT IS THE BIG QUESTION
Misunderstanding is a common characteristic that comes between friends and friendships. But the bonding of strong friendships are able to overcome these misunderstandings most of the time.
However there is another more deadly aspect, deadlier than misunderstandings that can break even the strongest of friendships.
Beware!! This potent aspect is MONEY!
Just imagine a situation:
You get a call from one of your friends and he says that he wants to meet you urgently. Even after you ask ‘n’ number of times the reason for meeting he never tells and gives the excuse that he cannot tell you on the phone.
Suddenly a mystery surrounds the whole conversation and he insists that you meet him as soon as possible.
In today’s world each one is on the look out for opportunities to have financial gains and you get the feeling that maybe you will also have a chance to earn some money that is why he is calling you so urgently.
You agree to meet him.
He meets you and you can’t wait to hear from him what was so urgent about this meeting. He makes a sad face and tells that he had called you because he is in need of urgent cash and asks you if you could lend him some.
You are stunned for few seconds! Your mind goes blank and you don’t know what to say at that moment. Maybe you may feel like slapping your friend thinking so this was the urgent matter that he had called you for.
The air of all those built up excitement blows away and you stare at your friend blankly.
I have faced this situation many a times and you cannot ignore that you never faced such a friend. Because there are people out there who use this trick to get quick money out of you. They will start with a big amount and then will finally get ready to settle down to whatever you can offer at that particular moment.
They will promise you that they will return it to you within couple of days.
But their promise might be as empty as their pockets.
So what do you do in such a case? He is your friend. Do you say ‘no’ and take the risk of loosing him?
Then stop and think!!
Will your life be really affected or it may not affect you in anyway if this so called friend of yours stops talking to you.
If it doesn’t affect your life you may say goodbye to him.
But there are few of us who would really like to help their friends in need.
That’s great!! You really are a true friend. But before you put your hands in your pocket and start to take out your purse stop and read ahead so that you don’t have to get your fingers burnt in this friendly deal of yours.
Well, after generously giving the loan to your friend you don’t want to keep chasing him after awhile to return your money and he keeps dodging you.
Because it is a time tested fact that the moment money is exchanged between friends or when friends get into business together or even when there is an imbalance between friends in terms of paying while going out together, the friendship eventually dies.
By simple planning you can stop playing the game of Tom and Jerry and get your money back that also with added interest. In this way you can retain friendship as well as be there to help your friend monetarily.
First thing you should do is, when a friend approaches you for money, assess his need. Why does he want the money? If the need for money is to buy a car or a new mobile phone, or any other fancy item that one can do without then say no right away.
For the time being you saying ‘no’ may put your friend off and affect your relationship but if your friend is intelligent enough, he will eventually see sense in your not lending the money. You can also offer him a sensible explanation that one should never borrow in life unless it is really very essential. Funding your luxury with borrowed money is not the right thing to do.
However, sometime the case may be different. Your friend might need the money for something important like a medical problem or to pay an installment for his home. It can so happen that he may be going through a temporary cash crunch. Who doesn’t face this problem in life?
After hearing this you may feel that it is your duty to help him. But don’t do so unless and until you ensure that he will repay your money. Because if he doesn’t you will eventually hold it against him and the friendship will be lost.
So what do you do?
To ensure that he repays, have him sign a bond/promissory note for the total money that you have lent him as well as interest that he is liable to pay you on that money. He may not feel happy about it that you being a friend are behaving with him in such a professional manner. But if he is genuine then he may accept it and will be glad that you are willing to help. He will even thank you for your kindness at the crucial moment of cash crunch in his life.
There might also arise a situation when you really, really want to help your friend but you don’t have the money to lend.
What should you do in such a case?
It’s simple! If you don’t have the money to lend then, certainly don’t lend!
If you try your level best and end up cutting corner in your expenses just to accommodate your friend, after awhile it will leave you feeling irritated, frustrated and angry and you will hold your friend responsible for the soup that you will get yourself into trying to help him.
To maintain your peace of mind honestly tell your friend that you don’t have the cash.
But even then you would like to somehow help your friend in need then there is one more option and a better one too.
Help your friend obtain money from a third source like a bank. Again, if he genuinely has the intention of returning the money he will agree to take your help in securing the much needed loan, or else he will make some excuse. Then you should thank your stars that you have been saved by the almighty by becoming poor for the amount of loan your friend was asking you.
If your friend had the right intention in his mind when he asked you for the loan then you helping him in such a manner will have two effects on your relationship with your friend in question. Firstly, he will be glad that you are there to help him and secondly and most importantly, there will be no money exchange between you two. Thus this will be a WIN-WIN situation for both of you.
Now comes the million Rupee question – It may so happen that you will also need money at some point in your life. DO you do the same thing as your friend has done?
No sir!! You should do something more intelligent!!
Go straight to your nearest bank and ask for a loan!!
**************
TO GIVE OR NOT TO GIVE THAT IS THE BIG QUESTION
Misunderstanding is a common characteristic that comes between friends and friendships. But the bonding of strong friendships are able to overcome these misunderstandings most of the time.
However there is another more deadly aspect, deadlier than misunderstandings that can break even the strongest of friendships.
Beware!! This potent aspect is MONEY!
Just imagine a situation:
You get a call from one of your friends and he says that he wants to meet you urgently. Even after you ask ‘n’ number of times the reason for meeting he never tells and gives the excuse that he cannot tell you on the phone.
Suddenly a mystery surrounds the whole conversation and he insists that you meet him as soon as possible.
In today’s world each one is on the look out for opportunities to have financial gains and you get the feeling that maybe you will also have a chance to earn some money that is why he is calling you so urgently.
You agree to meet him.
He meets you and you can’t wait to hear from him what was so urgent about this meeting. He makes a sad face and tells that he had called you because he is in need of urgent cash and asks you if you could lend him some.
You are stunned for few seconds! Your mind goes blank and you don’t know what to say at that moment. Maybe you may feel like slapping your friend thinking so this was the urgent matter that he had called you for.
The air of all those built up excitement blows away and you stare at your friend blankly.
I have faced this situation many a times and you cannot ignore that you never faced such a friend. Because there are people out there who use this trick to get quick money out of you. They will start with a big amount and then will finally get ready to settle down to whatever you can offer at that particular moment.
They will promise you that they will return it to you within couple of days.
But their promise might be as empty as their pockets.
So what do you do in such a case? He is your friend. Do you say ‘no’ and take the risk of loosing him?
Then stop and think!!
Will your life be really affected or it may not affect you in anyway if this so called friend of yours stops talking to you.
If it doesn’t affect your life you may say goodbye to him.
But there are few of us who would really like to help their friends in need.
That’s great!! You really are a true friend. But before you put your hands in your pocket and start to take out your purse stop and read ahead so that you don’t have to get your fingers burnt in this friendly deal of yours.
Well, after generously giving the loan to your friend you don’t want to keep chasing him after awhile to return your money and he keeps dodging you.
Because it is a time tested fact that the moment money is exchanged between friends or when friends get into business together or even when there is an imbalance between friends in terms of paying while going out together, the friendship eventually dies.
By simple planning you can stop playing the game of Tom and Jerry and get your money back that also with added interest. In this way you can retain friendship as well as be there to help your friend monetarily.
First thing you should do is, when a friend approaches you for money, assess his need. Why does he want the money? If the need for money is to buy a car or a new mobile phone, or any other fancy item that one can do without then say no right away.
For the time being you saying ‘no’ may put your friend off and affect your relationship but if your friend is intelligent enough, he will eventually see sense in your not lending the money. You can also offer him a sensible explanation that one should never borrow in life unless it is really very essential. Funding your luxury with borrowed money is not the right thing to do.
However, sometime the case may be different. Your friend might need the money for something important like a medical problem or to pay an installment for his home. It can so happen that he may be going through a temporary cash crunch. Who doesn’t face this problem in life?
After hearing this you may feel that it is your duty to help him. But don’t do so unless and until you ensure that he will repay your money. Because if he doesn’t you will eventually hold it against him and the friendship will be lost.
So what do you do?
To ensure that he repays, have him sign a bond/promissory note for the total money that you have lent him as well as interest that he is liable to pay you on that money. He may not feel happy about it that you being a friend are behaving with him in such a professional manner. But if he is genuine then he may accept it and will be glad that you are willing to help. He will even thank you for your kindness at the crucial moment of cash crunch in his life.
There might also arise a situation when you really, really want to help your friend but you don’t have the money to lend.
What should you do in such a case?
It’s simple! If you don’t have the money to lend then, certainly don’t lend!
If you try your level best and end up cutting corner in your expenses just to accommodate your friend, after awhile it will leave you feeling irritated, frustrated and angry and you will hold your friend responsible for the soup that you will get yourself into trying to help him.
To maintain your peace of mind honestly tell your friend that you don’t have the cash.
But even then you would like to somehow help your friend in need then there is one more option and a better one too.
Help your friend obtain money from a third source like a bank. Again, if he genuinely has the intention of returning the money he will agree to take your help in securing the much needed loan, or else he will make some excuse. Then you should thank your stars that you have been saved by the almighty by becoming poor for the amount of loan your friend was asking you.
If your friend had the right intention in his mind when he asked you for the loan then you helping him in such a manner will have two effects on your relationship with your friend in question. Firstly, he will be glad that you are there to help him and secondly and most importantly, there will be no money exchange between you two. Thus this will be a WIN-WIN situation for both of you.
Now comes the million Rupee question – It may so happen that you will also need money at some point in your life. DO you do the same thing as your friend has done?
No sir!! You should do something more intelligent!!
Go straight to your nearest bank and ask for a loan!!
**************
