Ingredients of a Big Budget Flop Film

1.  1. Sign Big Stars

2. 2.  Watch old hit Hollywood movies on DVD and select one that you like most. Forget what the world (people for whom you are going to make the film) thinks about the Hollywood film that you desire to copy.

3.  3. Catch hold of a writer if you feel bored about writing the script yourself. The writer has to just copy the DVD so you don’t have to spend your budget on the writer. Look out for your Dada, Kaka, Mama, Nana, Chacha; for that matter even your bai will do if she says she knows to read and writer English and Hindi. Call her to your office and give her the DVD along with a DVD player, some blank papers and a pen to write. By evening, or maximum by the next day your script should be ready. You as  a director may want to contribute by giving the foreign characters Indian names as your so called writer may not be good at names.

4.  4. Start shooting with the stars.

5. 5.  Add in an item number which you will surely dream in one of the nights during the shooting.

6.6.   Most importantly: Believe that you are making a hit film. Your Film is going to be the next ‘Sholay’ of Bollywood.

7. 7.  Design some awesome posters that have nothing to do with the storyline.

8.8.  Edit couple of slick promos for the idiot box.

9.  9. Give interviews on channels and participate in reality shows along with your stars to promote your film.

110.         Release the film on the finalized date.

111.   Collect the reviews online from various Bollywood Sites and lo!!!!! Even though you have earned a lot, your film has been declared a Super Duper Flop!!

Audiences are asking for refund. But you should not care. Instead share amongst yourself: ‘Kuchh to log kahenge, logon ka kaam hai kehna; chhodo bekar ki baton mein kahin beet na jaye raina...’ and you go out to celebrate the film with lavish parties. In the party you meet other stars and they have free dates available for you. Some of them may even have seen another great Hollywood film and would want you to make the film in Hindi.

And once again you go on the path of making a SUPER DUPER HIT...I Mean SUPER DUPER FLOP FILM!!!

Show Business or No Business

Ever since the film world came into existence, it is said that ‘there is no business like Show Business ‘. In today’s scenario with the kind of films being made in Bollywood ‘Show Business’ is fast turning into ‘No Business’.

With the multiple avenues open for recovery, the producers must be minting money from their flop films too; yet the ‘Business’ from ‘Show Business’ is missing. It’s all show: Show Great Locations, Show Beautiful Faces, Show sexy bodies...show, show, show...

We are in show business and it is important to understand that Business is not all about making money. First and foremost we are into the business of telling beautiful, heart touching, and inspiring stories through the silver screen. If we mind our business of storytelling sincerely money will follow automatically and the best thing will be audience will not feel cheated. They will not post online comments asking the producers and the directors for refund.

The best thing about the whole matter or the irony is that no producer or director wants to make a flop film, yet they come up with flops. Why does this happen?

What I have come to understand is going on the sets and start shooting is exciting and to some extent easy but sitting and creating a compelling story on paper is very, very painful and hard labor which the producers and directors don’t want to go through. All they want is to jump in the action and be a part of the glamour world that they create on the sets giving orders and controlling things.

There are other breed of producers and directors who sincerely work on their scripts and meticulously work on the details. They take longer to complete a film working on every aspect with minute details. Yet their films also bomb at the Box Office!

What went wrong?

Nobody can answer this! If there was an answer no film would have been a flop. I also will not dare to answer this question.

Yet, one thought comes to mind – Our purpose as a producer and director is to entertain the world and not make something that will satisfy our ego.

It is always seen that a producer and director makes a film that he/she likes to hear. During such a scenario the producer starts thinking in terms of the location and the director starts thinking in terms of the ‘stars’ he/she will cast and the ‘shots’ he/she will take to film the scene. They seldom bother to invest time in thinking about the liking of their clients (the mass audience in this case).

If we take an analogy from any business, no business house or a businessman makes any product that he or she likes. They make a product that has a ready market. They invest money and time in doing research on the kind of product the market demands and they are ready to change the product as the tastes of the people change.

Successful businessmen don’t fall in love with their product.

Just imagine a businessman making a product that he and his close friends love. What will happen to his product when he enters the market? He will not be able to reach a large audience and the product will fizzle out from the market.

I believe that film is also a product that we make under various genres and release it every Friday. It is a matter of understanding the needs of the market and then investing a major chunk of our time in creating an entertaining experience on paper.

Then the director can take command and order -

Roll Sound...

Roll Camera...

...and Action!!

Veer Yodha Prithviraj Chauhan: One of the Greatest Hindu King

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I8IeMc5e57Y

Took me about 1 year to write the script and I was able to come up with a powerful script.

You can watch the trailer here:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I8IeMc5e57Y

Enjoy and do leave a comment.

Rakesh Prasad